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Writer's pictureMajor Prick

Week 5 Debriefing

Assessment:

It's always the darkest before the dawn.


MIA:

  • Breece Hall


Casualties (Out for the Season):

  • Rashee Rice - knee


Injured:

  • Tua (QB) - head

  • Anthony Richardson (QB) - hip

  • Aaron Rodgers (QB) - he's old [NEW]

  • Jonathan Taylor (RB) - ankle

  • CMC (RB) - IR ankle

  • Warren (RB) - hamstring

  • Tyler Badie (RB) - back

  • De'von Achane (RB) - head [AGAIN]

  • Aaron Jones (RB) - hip [NEW]

  • Nico Collins (WR) - hammy [NEW]

  • Christian Watson (WR) - ankle

  • DeVonta Smith (WR) - head

  • Thielen (WR) - hamstring

  • Nacua (WR) - IR knee

  • Kupp (WR) - IR ankle

  • Pacheco (leg) - IR leg

  • Njoku (TE) - ankle

  • Taysom Hill (TE) - abdomen

  • Jake Moody (PK) - ankle [NEW]

Returned to Duty:

  • McBride (TE) - head


Total Points:

  1. 698.94 - Cory [SUCK IT CORY!!!]

  2. 691.86 - Justin [BITE ME!]

  3. 678.40 - Linda

  4. 631.36 - Jordan

  5. 620.56 - James


James (3-2) vs. David (3-2)

Projected Winner: James

Actual Winner: David


I thought I would be a contender, but it is looking my team is a pretender this season. Worse, Cory is 5-0 and leading in points. Can it get any more bleak? Even my brother won this week. Two weeks ago, I thought my running backs were my strength. Now, I have to hope they fall into the endzone. Such is fantasy. You never know what you really got. One thing I do know. I will NEVER draft a player on a team that has Nathaniel Hackett as OC. David smashed me thanks to some excellent waiver wonders. The Vikings took advantange of Hackett's no imagination offense. Easy 20 points. The real gem was Kraft who is now leading TEs. He looks so good. This year's LaPorta. I knew it was over once London blew up on TNF. They say it's the darkest before the dawm. It's starting to get real dim wondering what I am going to get from my players.


Hambone (5-0) vs. Justin (3-2)

Projected Winner: Justin

Actual Winner: Cory


Sigh. The fantasay gods love to torment me. Isn't it enough that I have to deal with Travis and Gary? No, I have to now watch Mr. Upstart lead the league in points and wins as he remains undefeated. Come on League! Step it up! Take this poser down. I had high hopes Justin could do it, but his team let me down. We will have to wait and see if the Nico hammy injury is minor or if it could set Cory back a bit until he returns. The only bright side to Cory losing is that it moves me ahead of Justin in the divisional rankings. I must give thanks for the little things.


Gary (1-4) vs. Jordan (2-3)

Projected Winner: Jordan

Actual Winner: Jordan


I can't talk too much crap against Gary this week. Even HE would have beat me this week. It's hard to win with inactive players in your lineup unless you are going up against Travis. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Jordan's team is heating up. Even if Adams gets traded to the Jets, Jordan will still have Rodgers #1 WR for what it is worth. Not much these days, but it would still hurt Jordan's team. No one wants two Jets WRs on their roster. There were some signs of life for Gary's team. Aiyuk finally got up to speed after a few weeks, but Mahomes is not a good fantasy QB like Gary is not a good fantasy football player.


Travis (1-4) vs. Paul (4-1)

Projected Winner: Paul

Actual Winner: Paul


Thank you Travis for keeping me from the Poopsie. If my brother needs consolation, just look to Travis whose team is putrid. He has a fondness for players on PUP or NFI list. He just can't seem to let them go. It's hard enough when the players you drafted suck. It is even harder when you won't pick players who are ACTUALLY PLAYING! Easy win for Paul as he got the free square this week to move to 4-1 and the leader in the Beards Division with the lowest total points. Sometimes you are good. Sometimes you are lucky. Paul has been lucky so far, but these things tend to even out over the season. I'm not sure what happened to Paul this week. He didn't submit any emergency players. Didn't swap out Richardson. He must chasing taill again. How is he leading the best division in the League? It's a weird season.


Nick (2-3) vs. Steve (1-4)

Projected Winner: Nick

Actual Winner: James


Steve had to get a win sooner or later. His faith in Hunt is paying off. I didn't think Hunt had much left in the tank, but he is showing new life on the Chiefs. As a Chief's fan I am happy cause we need him until Pacheco returns. The more weapons the better. Like David, Steve cleaned up on the waivers. I so wanted Mayfield, but Steve had higher priority. Mayfield once again went ballistic with 3 TDs. Denver also continued their dominance on D. That's 67 points off the waiver wire! That's really amazing. Most players would have thrown in the towel after starting 0-4. Not my Bro. He's no quitter. He's not good, but at least he's not a quitter like Gary who doesn't set his lineup or submit his emergency players.


Ashlyn (1-4) vs. Linda (4-1)

Projected Winner: Linda

Actual Winner: Linda


Linda didn't need luck this week going against Ashlyn. Linda coasted to an easy win and the weekly high score. It could have been better if Achane didn't get concussed. The Bengals got into a shootout with the Ravens which led to a monster performance by Burrow with 5 TDs. Caleb Williams is warming up and has eyes only for DJ Moore. Moore's 2 TDs and 105 yards made up for a lackluster day from Lamb in a tough matchup vs. the Steelers. With Kittle returning to Top Tier TE this season, Linda is going to be a force to be reckoned with, especially once Tua returns to boost Achane.

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