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  • Writer's pictureMajor Prick

Week 5 Briefing

As we enter Week 5, the bye weeks begin. Steve is still searching for his first win. Can anyone knock Mr. Upstart Cory off his undefeated season? It's been a crazy year with injuries and the continued lack of TE production. PhatNick secured JT's handcuff, but it is a massive downgrade until JT returns from his ankle injury. Speaking of handcuffs, Justin made the move to grab Henry's handcuff and secures the entire Ravens backfield. Not a bad idea. David went for the homerun with Wicks and dropped Tank Dell. David was highly active, with Kraft and Trey Benson also added this week. Ashlyn got a bye-week filler at QB with Fields to replace Hurts. I was left picking up the scraps as I got sniped on all my waivers.


James vs. David

I tried to get Fields, but Ashlyn sniped me, so I am stuck with Kyler against the 49ers. Not great, Bob. I hope McBride can make a difference if he returns this week. Crossing my fingers. Breece has a tough matchup vs. the Vikings. After last week's dud, my confidence in Breece is a bit shaken but I am taking the long view. I hope WanDale can continue getting a ton of short dump-offs and be PPR gold. These type moves usually end up burning me, though. On paper, I should win this game, but Wicks scares the crap out of me. Kraft Mac and Cheese exploded last week. I need him to be a one week wonder like Likely. I hope I am not jinxing myself, but I like my chances in our father-son matchup.


Cory vs. Justin

Well, well, well. Let's see how Mr. Undefeated does against the three-time champ, who has another rock-solid lineup. This may be a preview of the Championship matchup this season. Justin's team is stacked like Dolly Parton. Ole Cory has to roll out Dinky Dowdle vs. the Steelers with Barkley on bye. Oof. These two will fight for the high score, but Justin's roster is better this week.


Gary vs. Jordan

How has Gary won a game this year? He has yet to pick up a DST for this week. Typical, Gary. Gary's team is the picture of his life achievements...underperforming. Bijan? Bust. Mahomes? Meh. Singletary? Sucks. Aiyuk? Aiy-puke. Kincaid? Kin-fade. Jordan is sitting at the bottom of the Beards and must win to avoid falling too far beyond the League leaders. I'm not sure if Adams plays since he wants to leave Vegas. Who can blame him for not wanting to play for Mr. Bowlcut. That's no problem, though, since Worthy is on Joran's bench to make a nice boom/bust flex play. With Jaylen Daniels on fire, Jordan will coast to his second win.


Travis vs. Paul

Travis has been struggling to roster a starting lineup thanks to stashing three players on the PUP or NFI list. Mark Andrews might as well be on the NFI list since he has been MIA all season. Unfortunately for Travis this is not a point per block league. At least he was able to pick up Kmet so something is better than nothing. If Mixon plays, Travis has an excellet chance of winning. Paul still has Richardson in at QB. The lack of even a decent QB is going to cost Paul. I am not sure how he is 3-1 to be honest. His luck runs out this week.


Nick vs. Steve

Nick gets the free square this week facing Steve whose team is trash. Steve knows it. We know it. His only goal is to stay off the Crapper. Maybe he can score 100 if the Denver D feasts on the Raiders minus Davante. The Chiefs sure could use a great WR. Too bad they don't have the cap space to get Davante. Jordan will be keeping a close eye to see where he lands. I'm hoping it takes awhile to get settled while Adams rests his sore hamstring. Enjoy the easy win this week. It will get a lot tougher starting next week


Ashlyn vs. Linda

This is a battle between the two League broads and the past two League champions. Boy, has the League gone downhill lately. Ashlyn is scrapping to stay relevant, while Linda is looking to become the first back-to-back League champion. The projections haven't caught up with the changes in the League this year. Achane projected for 14? Yeah, right. Zay Flowers for 12? Not with Henry dominating on the ground. Why pass? Even with the inflated projections, Linda's team will get the win, but it will be closer than what the NFL site shows.


Projected Winners:

James

Justin

Jordan

Travis

Nick

Linda


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