Caesar (Gary): Welcome, welcome, welcome to Week 5 of the 9th Annual BBB Games. This week has seen the Commissioner once again pulling off an epic trade! We all remember the toxic trade from last season. This year, he pulled off two trades on the same day!
Claudius (Paul): He tried to trade with me, too.
Caesar (Gary): Yes, yes. What was his offer?
Claudius (Paul): Waddle and James Cook for Chase and Ford
Caesar (Gary): Wow! He got a much better deal from both David and Travis.
Claudius (Paul): I know.
Caesar (Gary): Let's take a closer look. In his first trade, he fleeced Travis who is desperate after an 0-4 start. The Commissioner traded Justin Fields and James Cook for Derek Carr and Josh Jacobs. Carr is a throwaway. Justin Fields was a sell-high after his lone great game this season against a sorry Denver defense. The Commissioner got the best player in the trade, Josh Jacobs. James Cook is a low-end RB1, high-end RB2, but he doesn't have the same upside as Jacobs who is the rare bellcow. Travis was desperate for an upside QB and Cook still gives him upside RB. At 0-4, he had nothing to lose.
Claudius (Paul): It looks like Travis is looking to sit on the Crapper again.
Caesar (Gary): He has a lot of competition. The Commissioner wasn't done. After acquiring Jacobs from Travis, David sent the Commissioner a trade offer for Jonathan Taylor. It was a weak 3-for-1 deal that the Commissioner quickly declined with a message that read, "Only way to get JT from me would be if Diggs were involved in the exchange." David quickly sent a counter-offer of Diggs, Pierce, and Sutton for JT and Waddle. The Commissioner could smash the accept button fast enough. Here is the Commissioner now with some remarks.
Commissioner (James): I almost feel guilty for trade raping my own son. Almost. After he sent multiple trade offers to Dana and Ashlyn, it was clear David was itching for a deal. With Jacobs acquired, I could easily afford to give up JT, whose situation is still unclear. In my opinion, even in the best-case scenario, Jacobs is better than JT. Waddle has been a disappointment, but he will have his boom games. Even so, Diggs is a true stud at WR to go with my other stud, JJ. To think I was trying to trade for Chase, whose situation is suspect until Burrow gets healthy. I hope Fields turns things around, Waddle gets more involved, and JT returns to his RB1 status, and these trades turn out to be a win-win for all sides.
Claudius (Paul): I hate that man.
Caesar (Gary): Now Paul, those are strong words.
Claudius (Paul): Have you seen what his team will look like?!
Caesar (Gary): We've seen super teams fail to deliver before. Remember Jordan from last season?
Claudius (Paul): May the fantasy gods have mercy on us.
Caesar (Gary): Amen, Paul. These trades do shake up the Power Rankings. Let's take a look.
Power Rankings:
Commissioner (+2)
Jordan
Paul (+1)
Steve (-3)
Dana
Justin (+3)
David (-1)
Tracy (-1)
Ashlyn (-1)
Gary
Travis
Linda
Caesar (Gary): No shock to see the Commissioner at #1 after those trades. Let's see how the matchups look this week. First, the Commissioner faces Gary. Gary is surprisingly 2-2 so far. He's about to be 2-3. He has no chance against Richardson, Pollard, Jacobs, JJ, Diggs, McLaurin, and LaPorta. That is a stacked lineup, even with K9 on bye.
Claudius (Paul): Gary does have Mahomes at the Vikings coming off a bad game against the Jets.
Caesar (Gary): True, but he will need Mahomes to go for 50 to make an upset possible. Next, we have the siblings David and Ashlyn. The reigning champs sophomore slump will continue. David will no longer have his super stack, but Allen is much better than Stafford in fantasy. If Barkley returns, there is no chance for Ashlyn.
Claudius (Paul): No chance.
Caesar (Gary): Paul, how are you feeling about your chances against Jordan, who is 4-0 and leads in total points?
Claudius (Paul): I would feel better about it if the Jets weren't playing Denver. Denver will make Zach Wilson look like a Hall of fame. Look how good they made Fields look last week. Garrett Wilson will probably score two touchdowns against me.
Caesar (Gary): Jordan always seems to have luck in his favor, but I wouldn't say I like your odds with CMC in cruise control. Jordan and the Commissioner are the early favorites for the Belt once again.
Claudius (Paul): I'm not too fond of that.
Caesar (Gary): We all do. We have two teams with 1-3 records in the next matchup. One is legitimately bad, while the other is not. Yes, as long as she keeps starting him, Linda will get buried by Burrow. The NFL has him projected for almost 23 points, a crime to analytics. Jones should be more involved in his second game back from injury. Packers need him to be because Dillon can't run. Even with three players on bye, Justin will win this matchup easily.
Claudius (Paul): Agree.
Caesar (Gary): Dana can't buy a break on the schedule. This week doesn't look good for her. While she has scored the 3rd most points, she has just one win to show for it. Eventually, the schedule should bounce back for her if she keeps putting up solid points each week. The Commissioner tried to do her a favor by getting Jacobs off Travis' roster before the matchup. If Fields goes off though, the Commissioner better have a safe room to hide in. Dana has loved seeing the big DST scores from the Cowboys, but this week, the big DST score will come from the Dolphins, who face the 2nd most sacked QB in the league, Daniel Jones.
Claudius (Paul): We know the Commissioner is scared of Dana.
Caesar (Gary): He should be. Finally, Steve is looking to bound back after his first loss last week. He faces a surprising 3-1 team. Tracy has found a gold nugget in Nico. It's too soon in the season for Tracy to blow up his team, yet. However, Steve's team is just superior. Cousins will be throwing all game as usual, trying to keep up with Mahomes. Robinson faces the toothless Bears defense. We will see if Achane has truly supplanted Mostert. I don't believe it. Hill will always get his targets. There are a lot of great matchups on both sides. Both teams should score 120+ points this week. If Kupp returns to performance this week, it could tilt the matchup towards Tracy, but as of now, we give the edge to the leader of the Broads division.
Claudius (Paul): I think that's it.
Caesar (Gary): Yes it is. May the odds be ever in your favor during Week 5. Bye.
Claudius (Paul): Bye, bye.
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