Caesar (Gary): Welcome, welcome, welcome to another week of fantasy football! Ha ha ha. Week 2 saw tragedy when Nick Chubb suffered a devastating knee injury.
Claudius (Paul): So sad.
Caesar (Gary): Yes, yes. Just when Steve's team was on a roll looking to win back-to-back high scores, he now will lose his RB1 for the rest of the season. May we have a moment of silence for Chubb? *silence*
Caesar (Gary): What does this do for Steve's chances to make the Championship playoffs for the first time? Rumour has it he was #1 in this week's power rankings, but he comes in at #4 without Chubb, which is still a jump of 5 positions.
Power Rankings:
Jordan (+2)
Commissioner
Paul (-2)
Steve (+5)
Dana (+1)
David (-2)
Justin (-2)
Tracy (+2)
Ashlyn (+2)
Travis (-2)
Gary (-4)
Linda
Caesar (Gary): He wasn't the only one to fall in the rankings. Paul, you dropped two spots after the Commissioner beat you once again.
Claudius (Paul): The Commissioner can lick my rim.
Caesar (Gary): Is that sanitary? Ha ha ha! It's no surprise who is on top after scoring the most points in Week 2.
Claudius (Paul): No surprise after he capitalized on Linda's blunder dropping Higgins.
Caesar (Gary): Indeed. Of course, the rest of us didn't help by passing on Zach Moss, who dominated the Colts backfield and scored 20.70 fantasy points. He did an excellent job plugging the holes in his lineup.
Claudius (Paul): We all know how much Jordan loves to have his holes plugged.
Caesar (Gary): Much to the lament of the League, the Commissioner won. Usually, if your opponent's QB scores 35+ points, they should get the win, but the Commissioner's entire lineup posted double-digit points totaling 152.54. If it weren't for Richardson getting concussed early in the game, he may have gotten a high score.
Claudius (Paul): What a shame.
Caesar (Gary): Heading into Week 3, the stat leaders are precisely what we expected. *sarcasm* Kirk Cousins, Jordan Love, and Russell Wilson lead at QB, two Rams are in the top 3 at RB and WR in Kyreen and Puka, and Hunter Henry is TE2. Let's hope the injury epidemic eases up moving forward, or we may be starting 3rd string RBs by Week 5.
Claudius (Paul): I am. I thought I had a waiver wire wonder with Ford, but then the Browns signed Hunt. I can't catch a break.
Caesar (Gary): Let's turn to the Week 3 matchups, where the Commissioner has a tough matchup versus the 3x Champion, Justin. Justin has had a rough start, but don't let that fool you. He once started 0-4 and still won the Belt. You can never count him out. The records say James should dominate, but this is a trap game for the Commissioner. Big Mike will feast in a high-scoring matchup vs. the porous Vikings secondary. AJ Brown has been whining, so you know he will get fed this week to shut him up. Pittman has made his triumphant return as a stud WR. It doesn't matter if it's Richardson or Minshew. How bad was Ryan as QB last year? James may have to turn to Fields with Richardson questionable to play with the concussion.
Claudius (Paul): Putrid
Caesar (Gary): Yes, Fields is a bust pick for the Commissioner in the 5th round, and to think he gave Steve crap for drafting Kirk in the 5th, who is the current #1 fantasy QB. I guess Steve got the last laugh on that one. The NFL prognosticators have Justin winning by 7. We concur.
Claudius (Paul): We do.
Caesar (Gary): Paul, how are you feeling about your matchup with David? Do you like your odds?
Claudius (Paul): Well, losing Montgomery is bad, and we already talked about the Hunt situation nerfing my Ford pickup. I like my chances since David traded for Saquon, who will be Out this week. Lamar showed some signs of life in the 2nd half of last week. Kelce should be better after another week to heal his bum knee. Yeah, it will be close, but I like my chances.
Caesar (Gary): If Kelce can get fully healthy, your team will be hard to beat. The next matchup doesn't need much analysis. Jordan faces Travis. Travis lost Jamaal. That wouldn't be a massive loss for most teams, but for Travis, it is. He's hoping Jacobs can find his groove from last year. Travis' team is just outclassed and outmatched by Jordan. Travis will have to wait another week to get his first win.
Claudius (Paul): The odds are favoring Travis for the Crapper.
Caesar (Gary): We're not sure how much Mahomes will need to do against the Bad News Bears. Gary has to pray Reed keeps the pedal to the metal. With Ekeler out indefinitely, things won't be so awesome for Gary until he returns. Tracy has had his challenges with player injuries already this season. Now he can add Amon-Ra to the list with a toe injury. The hits keep coming. At least the schedule was kind to Tracy this week to help him get another win.
Claudius (Paul): You never know.
Caesar (Gary): No Chubb, no problem for Schroeder. He is off to a hot start at 2-0. We see him continuing to extend his streak this week. With Tyfreek and the Pukamon tearing up the NFL secondaries, it will be hard to slow him down. BRob has a tough matchup against Buffalo, but Cousins will shred the Chargers. Poor Dana's team is mid. She hit a homer with Bijan, but Sanders is producing nothing with the volume he is getting. He's a prime RB dead zone casualty. Najee is another bust candidate. He has no explosion. She will need Henry to continue to score a TD this week if she hopes to make this game competitive.
Claudius (Paul): I thought it was my year, but it looks like it is Steve's.
Caesar (Gary): Finally, we have another battle between our elder madam (Linda) and our young damsel (Ashlyn). Ashlyn needs a win desperately after falling to 0-2 last week. She'll get the best shot this week facing Linda. Burrow's calf is hurting again, and it's unclear if AJones will play this week. Warren is just a committee guy, even if he looks twice as good as Najee. Linda's team had their peak game last week. This week, she returns to her average, allowing Ashlyn to sneak a victory to get off the snide.
Claudius (Paul): Is that it?
Caesar (Gary): That's it. Good luck to everyone in Week 3. May the fantasy gods protect the remaining running backs.
Claudius (Paul): Please.
Caesar (Gary): Bye, bye.
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