Overview
It's 2020 so I've been in a fatalistic mood lately especially when it comes to fantasy football. I've learned one thing about appeasing the fantasy gods. Like the Cenobites in Hellraiser, they want suffering. The more you suffer during your weekly matchup, the more likely they are to be appeased and allow your team to win. This week was a classic example for me.
With 3 games remaining in the regular season, we have some nice divisional battles going on in all three divisions. This is awesome!
In Beards division, Tracy continues to win to keep a one game lead over me. I've narrowed our points gap to just 5.58 points, but I have to beat him next week or Tracy wraps up the division title. For Paul to win Beards, he needs to win out, Tracy needs to lose out, and I need to beat Tracy but lose to Justin and him. I think that is right.
In the Bros division, Dana takes over the division lead with a dominate win over Paul. We all know Paul likes to be dominated, so he probably got a rise out of it. It's a close battle between Travis and Dana so this division could come down to the final regular season head-to-head between the two of them.
In the Broads division, EW Black has returned from the abyss. With his big win over Justin, Schroeder is back in the hunt for Broads division, since Gary took the hard defeat against your Dark Lord Commissioner. The permutations are too much for me to quantify early this morning on the possible outcomes. Jordan lost to Linda in week 1, but beat Steve in week 2. Linda beat both Jordan and Steve. So, Big Bear is still the longshot based on head-to-head and he is way behind both of them on points. Steve has to win out and hope Linda and Jordan finish the season 1-2. It's possible, since David's team is coming on strong late in the season to play spoiler.
LEAGUE PLAYOFF STANDINGS
Matchups
Dark Lord Commissioner (148.26) vs Just Beat Gary (141.02)
What a matchup. I suffered this week watching the TNF and Sunday games. Kyler Murray gets dinged up early which stunted his production. Then Gore gets dinged up on a run to get the Jets inside the 5 yard line. In comes Perine to score the TD. Koo gets 13 points in the first half only to get 0 in the second. The Chargers D looked like the reincarnation of the 85 Bears only to fade in the 2nd half against the Flacco who was dropping bombs on them. It looked like Mahomes was going to be held in check by the Raiders with the Chiefs scoring 2 rushing TDs only to see the Raiders give him 1 minute at the end of the game to throw to Hill multiple times and then throw the game winning TD! SUCK IT TRACY! GO CHIEFS!
To say I was suffering in a must win game is saying the least. I was left with Woods or Godwin to get me 25 points. Godwin has never had a 25 point game this year. Bobby Trees only has had 1. The Rams secondary is tough, so I chose Woods but couldn't bear to watch the game knowing a watched pot never boils. Soon after the game started, I received a fantasy alert. Woods scores a TD for Dark Lord Commissioner. Nice start. DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP! The fantasy gods want you to SUFFER. As I watched TV with Dana by me, my phone kept buzzing. Big play Jared Goff to Robert Woods for X yards. Don't do it James. Don't dare start believing the Monday Night Miracle will happen. Second half starts and the League chat starts heating up. Another catch for Woods. And another. And another. I finally look at my matchup and I am ahead by less than 2 points. DON'T CELEBRATE! Woods can still fumble on an end-around to lose you the game. The fantasy gods are watching. They are always watching for the moment to crush you. Woods rush for -1 yards. Woods rush for -5 yards. Here it comes. The worst defeat of all time! But wait, another big play notification Jared Goff to Robert Woods to seal the deal.
Holy crap! I pulled off the MONDAY NIGHT MIRACLE! It only took beating Dana for high score. I woke up this morning not 100% believing it actually happened. Thought maybe I had dreamt it up. Nope. It really happened. Unfortunately for me, Tracy also won so I am still a game back. Next week's head-to-head is another must win game for me. If Tracy wins, he wins the division and knocks me out of the playoffs. If I win, I take Beards division lead with two games left. No pressure, Tracy.
As for Jordan, he is still in the driver's seat. He still has a one game lead over Linda with a dominate points lead over her. Both David and my brother are heating up as we enter the divisional games, so Jordan has to hope everyone doesn't get high scores against him to finish the regular season.
EW Black (141.40) vs The Jedi Master (102.10)
Big Bear's team is boom/bust. This week he almost snuck in a high score off Kelce's monster game. Kelce ranks #4 overall in PPR for WR/TE position. Top 5 WR performance in the TE position. That is what I hoped for with Kittle which never materialized after the Week 1 injury. Mahomes makes Kelce's job so freaking easy. He never puts him in compromising situations where he could get hurt. Ball is always right between the numbers. Steve's mid-season acquisition of Curtis Samuels continues to pay high dividends. Another TD this week for Curtis. If only my brother could find a decent QB. Every time he plays Brady, Brady barfs. If he benches Brady, Brady blows up. Maddening.
Like Ryan, Hurst with Julio is a top 10 TE. Hurst without Julio is a bust. Julio was banged up early and Hurst put up the donut. It's hard to have 7 players score double digits in points and still barely break 100 points, but Justin managed to do just that. Wentz has been destroyed mentally with all the hits he has taken. When will franchises learn to invest in an O-line to protect their multi-million dollar QBs. It is shocking how few fantasy points Jacobs scored int he high scoring KC/LV game. At least he got a TD. Justin is fighting to not get relegated back down to the Bros division. His League title defense is over.
P.S. Thanks Bro for not trading Kelce to Jordan. I owe you a bottle of EW Black.
Mother Tucker (145.30) vs Check Out My Lightsaber (115.08)
Second week in a row Paul's team has struggled to put up good points. 115 just won't cut it most weeks. With Murray getting dinged up, it limited Kirk's performance. Dalvin and Henry are always studs. Most week's when your two RBs score 20+ each you would think you would get the win. Nope. Everyone else crapped the bed. Paul still has a nice points lead for the Wildcard, but Linda has closed the gap to 105.02 points and Jordan is right behind him. It's a race to see who gets the Total Points trophy at the end of the year.
Dana was almost orgasmic watching Dionte and Keenan catching all those balls. With the win, Dana takes over Bros Division lead. She has the Week 1 win over Travis and a 38 point lead. It's scary Dana almost got high score with Julio only getting 5.90 points due to his hammy injury. That was offset by some garbage time Goedert, though. If Goedert ends up becoming a top 5 TE each week, Dana could surprise down the stretch. She will just need to keep finding some good QB streamers each week. One day she will pick the right TB RB to start. Good luck with that. With Big Joe out for the season, it doesn't look good for Gio to produce in Cincy. But, as long as Dionte and Keenan keep getting monster targets each week, Dana is going to be tough to beat...at least in her division.
Underestim8ed (113.96) vs Rolling Dunder (116.52)
Oh what a painful loss this was for Linda. At least I pulled off the victory over Jordan to keep her 1 game back. This loss came down to game script. If the Raiders could have only held the Chiefs to a FG at the end then maybe Carlson could of had a chance for a game winning FG in overtime. Sucks for Linda, but great for us Chiefs fans. SUCK IT AGAIN, TRACY! Linda's biggest issue is Taysom Hill has nerfed Kamario. Not a single reception this week. Ouch.
It took a minor miracle for Krug to end his losing streak. The new record will stand at 8 straight losses. It may be awhile for that record in futility is broken. With Taysom getting the start, I had no clue how MT would fair, but you never bench Michael Thomas. MT finally came through for Dunder. The cherry on top was the Saints D shutting down the Falcons. I've said it before. Ryan with Julio is good. Ryan without Julio is bad. Julio struggled all day with his aging hamstring. The win won't help Krug avoid the Crapper Playoff, but maybe Taysom can make MT relevant enough to save him from the Crapper.
Its On Like Donkey Kong (135.46) vs Hays Blaze (120.04)
See what happens when you face real competition, Travis? You lose. Not that I was rooting for it. I wanted you to win against Tracy. McKissic game back down to earth this week. 10-15 should be the norm for him. 15 targets a week is an extreme outlier. Travis does have a glimmer of hope in that JT seems to be earning the coaches trust more and producing. As soon as Travis starts him though he will have a bust game. Evans actually had a better game than I thought he would thanks to the TD, but Gronk came up small. So the TE position has gone this year. TD or bust.
Watson just dominates Belichick. Where is that vaunted Belichick defensive mastermind? Kerryon was a bust. No surprise there. As Queen sang, "Kerryon, Kerryon. As if nothing really matters." My fear is that Salvin Ahmed the Terrorist will be the key piece to win Tracy another Championship. In a year most of us are struggling to find a TE to put up points, Tracy has two of them in Waller the Baller and Mandrews. Tracy has so many good players, he can't even start them all. With Carson coming back next week, Tracy's lineup is looking potent for the final run.
Roodiculous (129.04) vs King of the Crapper (135.44)
For two teams headed for the Crapper Playoff, they both put up contender numbers this week. You will win most weeks scoring 129.04, but this week Gary faced David who had his high score for the season. Even RBs with gimpy hamstrings can run all day on the Vikings D. Zeke topped 100 yards with a TD. Oh What A Thielen David had watching Adam make that spectacular one handed catch for a TD.
Gary didn't make many lineup decision blunders, but dropping the Browns D for Chiefs was enough to cost him the win. It's tough to predict defenses, but it is still a slap in the face. It's going to be interesting to see who ends up on the Crapper.
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