Kermit the Kommissioner here reporting on the Week 1 games. It was a brutal week with some big injuries and surprising outcomes. Elijah Mitchell's injury pretty much guarantees the 49ers once again will not have the same player lead them in rushing. Keenan Allen pulled a hammy. Godwin did, too. Two big hits to the wide receiver position in fantasy. Tee Higgins also got knocked out with a concussion. The Cowboys season is already over with the thumb injury to Dak. The Dak Attack won't be back for several weeks after his surgery. We'll have to see if the Steeler D is so dominant without Baby Watt who tore his titty.
Kermit the Kommissioner (James) vs Be A Nice Frog (Paul)
156.02 - 139.48
Who needs running backs when you have JJ, Diggs, and Pitt-win?! It took all of Jefferson's 40.40 points to get past Paul's potent lineup. Paul is going to have ple
nty of wins this season. It just wasn't meant to be in Week 1 against the Kommish. One projection that did come true was Kelce lighting up the Kommissioner up for 121 yards and a TD while the Kommish choked picking Njoku over Freimuth who got Luth against the Bengals. Even with only 1.70 points from Njoku, the Kommissioner still earned this season's first high score.
Dr. Honeydew (Travis) vs King of the Muppets (Justin)
101.66 - 132.10
Not only did Travis get his bald-headed butt whooped by the defending champion, but he also lost Dak Prescott for the next couple of months. It was a tough matchup for Zeke, but things aren't going to get any easier for him without Dak. The hits kept coming with Keenan Allen also getting injured. On the bright side, Kupp is still Stafford's lover and the ascent of Javonte Williams is here after getting 12 targets in Week 1!
It's scary to think that Justin got the 4th highest score this week even with Rodgers laying another Week 1 turd and Mitchell getting injured. Mixon also got dinged up at the end of the game, but it didn't appear too serious. Justin was prescient in picking up Jeff Wilson as the backup to Mitchell. It's early, but it's looking like Justin may be here to stay in the Beards' division.
Miss Piggy (Dana) vs Fozz Squad (David)
115.26 - 93.30
New division, same result for David. Another Poopsie award for the lowest score of the week. Dana's team didn't do much, either, but it was enough for a win. The Trey Lance experience didn't go so well for her. Knox was an afterthought with all the weapons in Buffalo. Injuries also hit her hard in Week 1 with Najee's foot sprain getting aggravated and Higgins getting concussed. On the bright side, Davanta Adams vindicated her 1st round pick on him by getting 17 targets for 10 receptions, 141 yards, and a TD.
Poor David will have to hope the season improves, but having two Bears players won't help when they combine for 1 catch for 7 yards. He better pray it was just the weather in Chicago.
Trash to Treasure (Tracy) vs Scooter (Gary)
96.58 - 126.00
Dana wasn't too happy watching her Pittsburgh defense go off in fantasy on another team's roster, but that dominating 25-point performance may be the last since Baby Watt tore his titty muscle. The demise of the Chiefs offense without Tyreek was slightly overblown. It appears the less accurate Mahomes was still able to find 9 receivers for 360 yards and 5 TDs. I think the Chiefs will be OK without Tyreek. The rest of Gary's team was mediocre, but it didn't take much to beat Tracy's second lowest score of the week.
Tracy's team should improve once Tom knocks the rust off. You can't miss that much pre-season time and come out 100% in Week 1 even if you are the GOAT. Dalvin had a good day rushing with 90 yards, but with only a couple of receptions, it was a disappointing week for Tracy's bell cow. Another positive for Tracy is that he now knows that MT is back so he can play him as a safe WR2 with WR1 upside moving forward.
Elmo (Jordan) vs Abby (Ashlyn)
152.82 - 127.52
It was unfortunate timing for the Rookie facing Jordan's second highest points this week. Both of her bench RBs outperformed her starters. It always sucks to see the points you needed to win sitting down there, but who could blame here for starting Henry and Montgomery over Hunt and Carter. That's a bitter fantasy football reality. Like Paul, she should see better outcomes in the following weeks since she has a solid roster with good bench depth.
The real story in Week 1 was the re-emergence of Saquon Barkley! Wow! He looked great! If CMC gets his groove back and can stay healthy, Jordan is going to be a force to reckon with in the League this year. He has a lot of high injury-risk players though, so his season could get derailed easily. Kyler is always good in the first half of the season. For now, Jordan will be happy to get off to a fast start after finishing at the bottom last season.
BoBo the Bear (Steve) vs Janice (Linda)
128.86 - 101.52
A solid win for the Big Bear over Linda who barely escaped the Poopsie Award this week. The Herbert/Williams stack fizzled, but with Keenan hurt there is hope Williams sees more targets until Keenan gets back. It was impressive how efficient and effective Herbert was distributing the ball around. Swift did his best Kamara impression from days of old. I still don't trust a Lions RB long-term, but Steve can enjoy the ride while it lasts.
Poor Linda came out of the drafts with a weak team and it showed in Week 1. Akers gave her 0.0 points on limited touches. Amari Pooper is going to disappoint until the Massagynist's returns from suspension. Her bench doesn't have many good options to replace Akers. As soon as she puts Williams in he won't get those 2 TDs to boost his scoring. On the bright side, Judge Jeudy impressed in his first game with Wilson. My money was on Sutton being the #1 fantasy producer at WR. Not true at least after the first week.
BBB Survivor
Two teams were knocked out in Week 1 and two others had close calls. Tracy chose the 49ers who lost to the Bears and Steve chose the Broncos who lost to the Seahawks. Better luck next year! Linda and James had a close call when the Colts tied the Texans, but they both move on to live another week. The plurality went with the Ravens (Justin, Travis, Dana, and Paul). David picked the Saints, and Ashlyn picked the Chiefs. Onto Week 2 to see who can stay alive.
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