Situation
Season opener.
Intelligence
Dark Lord Commissioner vs The Jedi Master
The Dark Lord’s team clearly has inferior players to Justin’s juggernaut lineup. Neither the Raiders nor Panthers’ defenses should put up much resistance against the opposing running backs which are both on Justin’s side. If I am to even keep this game respectable, I will need both of my dumpster dive RBs to outperform in Week 1. Here’s hoping for a repeat of Week 1 performance from Malcolm Brown…11/53/2.
Its On Like Donkey Kong vs Check Out My Lightsaber
If only I was playing Tracy this week. Maybe I would have a chance of winning. T.Y. Hilton may score 30 against the Jaguars’ pop warner defense. With the limited healthy wide receivers in Philly, Ertz may also post a monster number against the team formerly known as the Redskins. There are so many question marks on Tracy’s team. Does DJ have anything left in the tank? Can Deshaun post monster fantasy games without DHop? Has Carson lost a step after hip surgery? I am going with the more proven players and giving Paul the win this week. Then we can watch Tracy blow up his team again this year.
Mother Tucker vs Hays Blaze
Travis does know he has to submit a lineup, right? Keenan Allen should feast against the Bungles and Julio will be Julio. Like Tracy, Dana has some wildcards to watch in week 1. No one knows how Belichick will use Cam the Scam. Dana currently is starting both Falcons WRs after her brain glitch on draft day. I might want to diversify and start D.J. Chark vs the Colts. We will see if she tries to trade Julio or Ridley for a better RB2 later. As for Travis, which old and busted QB will he roll with in week 1? Speaking of old and busted, his lineup is full of them with Gronk and Edelman, too. There is no upside on Travis’ roster, so finding wins may be difficult this year and I predict won’t happen in Week 1.
Rolling Dunder vs Roodiculous
This week starts Gary’s quest to become the only back-to-back team to sit on the Crapper. He’s off to a great start after the draft. In week 1, he faces a strong Dunder team who (for now) has a healthy Conner, Gurley, and Engram. Krug’s team will most likely fall apart by week 4 when Conner, Gurley, and Engram are on IR, but for now he can enjoy the early victories.
EW Black vs The Tatooine Twin Suns
Steve is about to get his first ass whoopin’ of the year facing David. Lamar is going to ball out against Cleveland. Chris Thompson is going to have 10 receptions against Indy. Barkley has a rough matchup against a stout Steeler front 7, but Saquon should be fine. I have no trust in ODB or Sanders mysterious “lower body injury”. Steve will need another Lizard King week 1 whopper to have a chance.
Underestim8ed vs Just Beat Gary
Jordan’s starters are impressive if not for his bench. But this is week 1, so who needs bench depth? On paper, Linda’s team looks like she should run away with this matchup with Zeke and Kamara. However, Jordan has some serious upside players with Fuller and Andrews. I think this matchup hinges on LeVeon Bell which is bad news for Jordan. I wouldn’t be surprised if Frank Gore outscores Bell thanks to Coach B Hole. Jordan’s team name may become prophetic this season.
Comments