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  • Writer's pictureMajor Prick

Week 1 Briefing

Updated: 4 days ago

The draft has been completed. The grades have been given. Now let's see how well you manage your teams as we begin a new season. I am sure everyone's hopes are high, except for Gary. Gary knows he sucks at fantasy football.


James vs. Justin


The two best players in the League face off to start the season. The matchup appears pretty even, but it's the little advantages at each position that will give me a victory. Breece > Henry. Walker > Conner. McBride > Njoku. Amon-Ra > Harrison Jr. This should be an easy win, but Week 1 is when we find out what has changed with defenses since 2023.


Steve vs. David


The Tua/Tyreek stack is difficult to overcome, especially in a good matchup against the Jags secondary. Steve's entire lineup has good matchups—not a bad one at any position. For David to have a chance, he needs Josh Stallion to have a 4-TD game against Arizona. The key difference is at DST, where Steve's Bengals face the Patriots while David's Jets have the challenge of containing the 49ers offense.


Nick vs. Cory


Cory must wait until Week 9 to see if he can beat me. If he does, I will call him by his given name. Until then, he shall remain Cory. Meanwhile, he will face off against his fellow noob in the BBB League. Of the two open teams, Nick had the weaker one. He also as the weaker one after the draft. But this is a weekly game, and in Week 1, I like Big Nick in an upset. The key is Lamar Jackson. In four games against the Chiefs, he has averaged only 17 completions for 187 yards, 1 TD, and .5 INT. Cory likes to talk a big game. Too bad he is small potatoes.


Travis vs. Ashlyn


Most fantasy sites liked Ashlyn's draft the most. I think it is just CMC bias. We all know I drafted the best roster. I set the schedule up for an easy start against Travis, but the truth is that any of her Broads opponents would be an easy matchup. Amari Pooper is going to lay a turd against the Dallas D. But this matchup is more about Ashlyn's fabulous four in Hurts, CMC, White, and Evans that make her team formidable on any given week. Travis will have better days ahead since Nick and Cory joined the division.


Jordan vs. Paul


We'll see if Paul can figure out the NFL Fantasy app before the TNF game starts. The odds are low. Jordan was pretty desperate on draft night to pick two rookie quarterbacks. His lineup is pretty putrid. He has the name-brand wide receivers in JJ and Adams, but their QBs are mediocre. I'm predicting a long season for the two-time Total Points champion. Without CMC, we will see how good a fantasy player he is. Hint...he isn't good. The only thing that could derail Paul is if Chase pulls a Le'Veon Bell and holds out. Steve is still bitter about that. I still think Paul has the depth to overcome it with Pollard on his bench as a flex option. Thankfully, the Bengals play at 1 pm on Sunday so that Paul will know soon enough.


Linda vs. Gary


Another player who can't figure out how to set a lineup after 10 years on the same site. Hollywood has already been ruled out. Both teams had their WR1 hold out all pre-season. We will see whose hammy goes first. My bet is on Aiyuk. Mahomes hasn't had any issues carving up the Ravens D. He's averaged 370 yards and 3 TDs in four matchups. Gary will need more than 3 TDs from Mahomes to make this matchup competitive. Bijan faces a stout Steelers D, so Achane and Kyren should run laps around Devin Dinglebary and Bijan. We all know the League is better when Gary loses.


Projected Winners:

James

Steve

Nick

Ashlyn

Paul

Linda



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